Nobody cares ( …as much as you do)

This journey of growing up has been an extremely interesting one for me. Every single day I come to a new realization, as life continues to haphazardly throw curve balls in my direction.

Over the past few weeks there have been a number of outcomes that I have been waiting on, and while some have gone well (i.e securing new client-projects), sadly others have been slightly disappointing (rejected applications for funding, issues with renewing my visa). But as we live in a world of duality and contrast, these ups and downs are obviously expected.

Day by day as I am either excited by my achievements or saddened by my shortcomings, I am repeatedly reminded that no matter how hard I try to convey this message across, honestly no-one (besides perhaps a select few) will truly understand what it all means to me. And as much as my friends, family or colleagues enquire about my trials and tribulations, successes and failures, goals and aspirations, ultimately at the end of the day, no-one will care – and as I’ve learnt the hard way – no one should really care as much as I do.

Being an over-achieving child, a large part of the reason I did well at school was to be able to go home to a standing ovation, “congrats Benny”, “Well done my son/brother/cousin/friend” (or ‘Big Man’ as my father used to call me), “we are very proud of you” and this quickly became a constant driving force throughout my academic career: the praise, support, encouragement and belief from those around me.

Of course, this was during a time where the roads were few and the paths were finite, I mean let’s be honest, in school, you were either a:

  1. Top achiever
  2. Slightly above average performer
  3. Average student
  4. Below average kid  OR
  5. “That guy”/ i.e the struggling/problem child that teachers detested.

And naturally, every parent desired for their child to be a top achiever, a trophy child to brag about to their friends and relatives.

But now, many years later, the paths are no longer as limited, the options are not as simple, the journey is not as determinant. And unfortunately, unlike in conventional schooling, there is no longer an end of the year prize giving, we are not ranked at the end of each term according to our academic ability, there is no longer a standardized report card quantifying your performance/progress to your friends and family.

And frankly, because we are no longer little overly protected, highly supported, heavily guided kids anymore, nobody has as much vested interest in our personal plans, ambitions, visions, or progress, and you can’t really expect them to. So as harsh as it sounds and as difficult as it is to accept, the truth is that, there will be times in your life where nobody (again, besides perhaps a select few) truly understands you, and I strongly believe that after a certain point, nobody should really care about you and your future , as much as you do. And if you constantly wait for signs of acceptance, approval or support, your aspirations will slowly deteriorate as they fall into the great abyss of regrets, missed opportunities and once-avoidable disappointments.

 


Nobody cares (…as much as you do)

Nobody needs to believe in you

Nobody needs to understand you

Nobody needs to care for you

Nobody but you

No one knows all your struggles

No one knows all your aspirations

No one knows what you know

Nobody, but you

They don’t see the world like you

They don’t have the same visions

They don’t know what you know

They don’t, but you do.

They may not accept you

They may not support you

They may not empower you

And you don’t need them to

While this journey is long

You know your destination

Hold onto your vision

As you lay your foundation

And you make your own path

On the road, that’s less taken

Be persistent, yet patient

Know thyself and be strong

And while some might support you

The onus is on you

To believe in yourself

As you push yourself through

Cause nobody knows you…

No one should care for you…

None should believe in you…

…as much as you do.


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#T4aM

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